Weather gods: I'm privy to your blue-balling tactics.

Minus a three-year stint in Atlanta and missing the first two months of winter this year, I have always lived in a winter climate. Last year was the first year I made a public statement that I would not get blue-balled by March. It worked, or maybe I wasn't as upset about how cold it was because I got to use the term "blue-balled" all the time. However, I think the weather gods got pissed that I was trying to stop people from being tricked into thinking that March sun meant it was almost spring, and now they're trying to fuck with all of us. I didn't wear mittens this entire weekend (I happened to lose my mittens on Saturday, but that's beside the point). I had some hope in my heart. I saw visions of summer. I wore shoes as the snow melted away. I saw concrete and my heart swelled with springtime happiness and I almost allowed myself to believe that winter was coming to an end.
Seriously, weather gods, don't fuck with me. I know there are two more months frigid l'hiver misery. I'm buying another pair of mittens tomorrow and I might even get a pair of boots that don't leak.

My one redeeming quality

Am I marriage material yet? I am really into pies right now. I do not understand why people say making pastry crusts is so hard because I am so damn good at it. And I don't even try. So am I like the soyouthinkyoucandance contestant of pie making? I make it look so easy, but it is easy for me. That's because I am incredible [at pie making].

Omd, isn't he like the best ever?

The progress of pedestrian safety in India

Instead of trying to enforce traffic rules on Indian roads, planners pretend they're playing the lion hunt game and arrange a meeting to discuss the problem of pedestrian access at busy intersections:

Oh, Oh
Busy intersection ahead.
Can't go over it.
Can't go under it.
Best we spend over 1 crore rupees and build an elevated footbridge.


from The Hindu

These footbridges are unnecessarily high so generally people weigh their options of possible death crossing the roads and being out of breath and opt for death. Here comes the first footbridge modification:

Gates.
Rationale: If pedestrians are blocked from crossing the street then they are forced to use the footbridges.
Advantages: Death is rare.
Disadvantages: Not wheelchair accessible and turns crossing the street into an Olympic feat.

Gates were put up around Leela Palace in Bangalore and almost immediately you could see that some of the gates were broken down so that people could slide through and cross the road. Conclusion: stairs suck more than death. Engineers of all types get together (because engineers run India regardless of their qualifications) and discuss the problem:

Mechanical engineer: Why don't people want to use the footbridge?

Electrical engineer: Indians don't like stairs.

Civil engineer: Yes, the stairs are a problem. Now in a country like India where no one has reliable electricity and anything we build will be heavily used and require a great deal of maintenance, I think our only option is to replace the stairs with an escalator.

That one guy who got his MBA in America and drinks lattes now: We'll pay for it all through advertising.

Electrical engineer: We can get energy cost-cutting firms to back us so we'll actually be SAVING electricity.

Civil engineer: You're so forgetful, Electric. The stairs used less electricity than the escalator.

Electric engineer: Tee hee, but you already forgot that you're in India and these escalators will most likely break in a month and no one will fix them!

Mechanical engineer: So they're just as energy efficient as the stairs. We win!

Guy from NGO: Hey I'll put together a design manual so this idea can be implemented all over India by city officials who don't understand planning as well as we do!

Chemical engineer: You guys are my best friends, seriously. Friends forever.

India so far

I was delaying posting until I could upload Europe pics, but my ibook adapter finally gave out (I lasted much longer than the rest) so it's India time.

I'm trying to figure out how I fell in love with Chennai so quickly and why Bangalore and I still have awkward moments.
1. I live out in the boonies in a sterile, gated, ex-pat paradise -- with French landscaping!
2. The cheapest way home is 40Rs (buses and 1 auto) and I can't even beg an auto to drive me home for 200Rs.
3. Infrastructure: ridiculous flyovers, traffic, and urban development projects.
4. The founders of the organization I work for gave it all away, including trips to Milan, to start up this NGO.
5. People at work keep taking me for a chump. I've been assigned to work on a magazine I don't want to work on for next to nothing. My colleague is paid 5 times as much as me, and so far, it seems like we're expected to have the same role in the production of this magazine.

Why Chennai won't be the same if I go back:
1. I won't be living like a baller with 3+ servants.
2. I'm no longer fascinated by Indian dudebrahs.
3. It won't be balls hot in the fall.
4. No Daniel!

For Mollz

I guess it's safe to have a blog again, because I don't really have much of a social network left. There are limited opportunities for others to get together and make fun of my entries (I like to believe this used to be an issue).

I was never explicitly told what my position is here at McGill News, but the masthead says I'm Editorial Assistant. I'm really into self deprecation so I tell people I write up obituaries and surf youtube. In reality, in between youtube and gchat I lurk the internet trying to find McGill alumni like Roger Kershaw.



Roger is an accredited Virgin Galactic Space Agent. Yeah, we've all heard about the Virgin Galactic, but I need more deets on the first passengers. Of course there will be a slew of celebrities, but what about your average Joe billionaire? I feel the same way about Space travel as I do about the iPhone. I don't think I will ever deserve to see space or check my facebook on the go. That's just me, I know my self worth.

I wanted to judge William Shatner and Sigourney Weaver for thinking they were worthy of seeing space, but I think contributing to sci-fi is reason enough to go into space. I hope they encounter beings from another planet and Sigourney Weaver can leave the experience knowing that her depiction of OUTERSPACE in Aliens was fair and accurate. Shatner can take the lead, Moby can set the atmosphere, and Paris Hilton can... I don't know, maybe she'll find her true calling in the final frontier. I hope so.